First Post Terrors

So here I am, sitting at my laptop, the bright screen blaring back at me.. and an empty space where my first blog post should be. It's quite annoying. If any of you have blogged, I'm quite certain you know what I mean. The first post is, quite frankly, the most evil thing ever to present itself to a blogger- besides writer's block, that is.

However, I've decided to conquer this giant. Yes folks, I'm going to survive this lion's den and write a stunning -gasp- first post to my blog. All I ask is that you bear with me; just bear with me.. patiently, while I struggle through this swamp of a first post.

Now, I know what you may be thinking to yourselves (specifically those of you who have never blogged before):

"Why, Elijah, are you having such a hard time writing this first post?"

Well, that there is a complicated question that deserves an equally complicated answer. You see, I'm a rather private, introverted fellow, and the fact that you just used my first name in that question of yours disturbs me more than you could guess at. The fact that you can go to my profile and more than likely know my full name, gender, and age (factors that I have tried for so long to keep hidden.. and succeeded quite excellently at that) also scares the crap out of me. Part of me doesn't even know why I would create such a self-exposing piece of internet.. but alas, the obsession has become a compulsion, so-to-speak, and I am compelled to create this blog at long last (the blog bug has been biting me for quite a while, you see).

Although, this blogging thing isn't entirely without any rules of engagement- it's not all 'Let's make Elijah give and we'll take' ;). There are three things which I will expect you to observe if you would like to continue viewing my blog. They're pretty simple- you should be able to grasp them. Here we go:

1. Do not discuss me in your social circles.
2. Don't let my private info leave this blog and my circle of friends.
3. Do not- I repeat, do not attempt to find out more about myself than I feel comfortable posting here.

If you obey these three basic things, I may just be inclined to continue posting on here. So, it's entirely up to you- don't ruin it.

... And my first post is done. It's amazing, actually, how quickly I was able to complete this post once I got my brain hunkered down on the idea and my fingers started typing. My introduction is complete, although I doubt that it's anything you were expecting for a first post introducing myself. Seriously though, this is me we're talking about. If you've known me for any length of time, you should know by now that I tend to do the exact opposite of what you'd expect.

Anyway, if this goes well, I'll be making a second post quite soon.. and I promise, you'll find out a bit more about me (at least, if I'm in a good mood while posting). Come to think of it, my second one will probably be more like a first post than this one is...